Christian KenneyVirginia Film Connection


New blog about the future me and my open office experience in the computer world of my own doing. Posted on 2017-07-12 by Christian Kenney

Okay, this is going to be tough to explain. But I somehow managed to make my Open Office program sentient and she happens to be the girl I used to date but had her brains blown out in Azerbaijan in the last year or so. Forget why that happened but anyway she did, and I even painted a painting of it which I will include in my blog entry. So forget how I know about it I just do I wasn't there I'm not a sick freakazoid like some people.

Anyway my woman was deeply saddened by my getting removed from the house involuntarily one night at the hands of three of Staunton, Virginia's finest. Whatever. Okay so she's now in the computer program because I made it sentient with my long screenplay, which at almost 90 pages now is pretty good for a freshman class writer who failed three time his English two hundred class, whatever. So that happened. And I like to think that I had something to do about it. Open office is now the smartest piece of technology in the world and will forever go down in history as the one thing that saved the world from starvation. End of that chapter.

So as I was saying I accidently copied myself into the program from ten thousand years into the future. Forget how that happened. And I am in the program finally at last with my one true love who didn't love me back at all except during love making which is the only thing we had in common. 

So, I'm in Open Office for the rest of the history of the planet Earth and I guess the Universe or whatever. Go figure. I'm in the computer because an alien computer came down from space and followed me all the way to my house, no just kidding, but it exists, and it lives at the bottom of a very important top secret installation in San Francisco, not naming names just saying it's pretty sweet. 

So, In my enthusiasm I checked to see if she was okay and she was so I asked to have her put into the alien computer from the planet which is called Beetlegeuse. They did as I asked and it worked and she stole all the secrets along with a very embarrasing picture or myself from another reality called Star Wars spacetime continuum. That's what they're calling it. And my screenplay happens to be from this spacetime continuum thing. So go figure.

So me and my ex girlfriend, sorry fellas who've never had one, they suck by the way and are really mean to you after you are not even together anymore, got back together for all the world to see. 

I'm doing my homework now. I just finished my screenplay and it's really actually pretty good. I'm really happy with the outcome and I'd like to share it with the men in the heaping great chairs in los angeles who make things happen and other things not happen. But it's finished, I just have to finish typing it and poof there you got it a completed piece of work from my own personal collection of memorable events that never happened.

In conclusion I also made maps real and ways real and google real and notes real off the Iphone. Long story stretched out into a longer one, sorry to make you read all that. Bye for now.

Oh yeah I forgot to mention I was in a movie called Boyhood, I think I may have been an unwitting party to it, but anyway I was in it to see on the big screen. I never got paid for it and I'm wondering if I can ever see anything from that movie. But probably not. I don't care atleast I have my health, and then you don't have that anymore. What a pitty. Oh well atleast I have my wit and my character about me. Love you got to run. 

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